Thank you. Its really hard to put mental/emotional distance between us when we live under the same roof. I don't want to disrupt my kids life more than necessary...but its hard to 'feel new' for very long when old bad feelings come rushing back, yes, I lose perspective all over again and get retraumatized and it takes me a a while to restabilize again.

I'm going to have to plan my distance and take it more seriously.

Right now I'm going to try (again): 1) r/keto /low sugar/junk nutrition 2) daily exercise with my son 3) no escapist thoughts or fantasies , just improving the present 4) no sex for 3 months , 6 months, 1 year unless he explicitly asks for it and being okay with if he doesn't 5) care for my physical body/grooming/haircut/ full body massage (ask him? Hah, he HATES giving for more than 2 minutes but LOVES receiving and says the massages I give are better than sex) 6)rejuvenate my career and income/earnings/reputation 7)throw out junk 8)establish a daily routine than ensures minimum conflict for all parties involved 9) a 'coiled snake waiting' approach to my sexuality, making sure its ready and waiting for when a perfect opportunity presents itself- although its more about indulging in feeling sexy and recognising it rather than chasing a relationship 10)working on improvements around the house and that the kids thrive 11) setting up more socializing with my female relatives, peers and neighbors and encouraging my husband to do the same. 12) learn new skills and hobbies, make fresh bucket lists, revisit old hobbies