Yeah....I see. She keeps throwing religion in to back up her reasoning for things. Like she will say something to the effect of "life is all about family. That's what God says"...so I feel like for me that's what makes it extra difficult. In the religion my parents follow (I don't follow it...but I keep that a secret because it could be dangerous for me to come out as ex-Muslim in my community even though we are in America). In their religion parents are held to a very high regard and it's basically you do what they tell you to do. So with this in the mix....I really don't know how to handle it. Because if I do set up these boundaries, I'm basically committing a sin in the religion. I wonder if it's common for parents like this to be religious? I mean, I've gotten away with a lot...but all because I lied to set boundaries. For example....I met my now husband when I was in my late 20s in school....I hid him for three years before telling them....of course my mother was furious...because he is Jewish....but I told them he converted (which wasn't technically a lie). It took another 3 years for my parents to accept....they like him now...but there were many many conditions because of religion. I think that some religions, at least the one I was brought up with is all about control. So it kind of makes me think...is it the chicken or the egg? Did religion make my parents controlling? Because I'm a woman, another layer of me not being able to move out before I was married was tied into religion and cultural practices. It's pretty common for an unmarried woman no matter what her age to live at home with their parents and basically be looked at as their property until the husband comes along. I'm really struggling with this....the fact that religion and culture is used as a form of control (but they are both controlling and my parents are pretty much doing what is in line with them). I don't bring this up a lot because I know it's a controversial topic...but I wanted to see if anyone could relate because I know it isn't just the religion and culture I was brought up with.