What is this "him" junk? You don't have a right to question the gender and/or masculinity of the son. Even if you think they may be transgendered, making statements like "him" or using pronouns that the person has not requested does more harm than good.

There are reasons to stay in the closet and reasons to come out - the choice to do either one should not be complicated by social pressure putting them in a no-win situation. If the kid is transgender and trying to protect themselves by conforming, then challenging their stated cis gender hurts them. A worst case scenario is that the kid, actually cisgendered, gets fed up with everyone calling him "him" and tranny and all the rest that he says, "Fuck it. Fine. Just shut up, I am trans." ...which then creates a whole new bag of problems.

Basically, stop. It isn't being supportive a doesn't help people who are transgender to question the gender they choose to present as (or try to). It also doesn't help cisgendered people who are non-gender conforming as it is actually just reinforcing the view of a binary gender system and denies their identity.