As someone who was called out as "alpha " while I hate the concept and I can't fully comprehend why it still exists, you're beating around the bush without getting into the right points:

Ladies want someone self driven who won't budget for just about anything, and above all else, the kind of men who don't really NEED a woman in their life to achieve happiness.

Long story short, if you have your shit together personally, are ambitious and show a kind of "I'm happy with or without you, but I definitely enjoy having you next to me".

It doesn't hurt to be polite and a gentleman, but make it clear that some lines cannot be crossed, or else the conditions will change.

9/10 when I've been hit on, it was when I wasn't looking for a relationship and I still socialized while showing that I was already happy with what I had and no one can take that from me.

Apparently that makes men attractive and "alpha". God I hate that label.