I cheated (which in the context of an open relationship really meant I started sneaking around and hiding things). He said he forgave me but he didn't want to talk about it at all, as if his forgiveness could put it behind us. When he didn't ask me why I did it, I asked myself, and came realize it was because I had been unhappy for months. He was incredibly sex-shaming and I didn't feel like I could trust him. I got the fuck out after that.

He wanted to stay friends afterwards and even though we made terrible partners I thought with the element of sex removed we could be be friends.

We stopped being friends about four months out when I confided in him that I had been raped recently and asked him for a referral to a therapist he had given me ages before that I had lost. He basically said I wouldn't know the difference between being raped and not, given what I'm into sexually. I told him to lose my number and never talk to me again.

About a year after that we were still out of contact, but the distance and the knowledge that things were said in the heat of the moment had softened my ill will towards him. He was just a sad, ignorant person. And maybe I misunderstood what he was saying.

Then I found an email in my inbox sent the day after our last conversation and like an idiot, I opened it. He reiterated everything he had said in unambiguous detail, about how he was such a nice, and I was a horrible person, and oh yeah, the guy I was dating who raped me was only seeing me because he had a thing for asian chicks with brightly colored hair, as he knew from the totally reliable sources of "some mutual friends."

So I guess for one I learned what real, true maliciousness looks like.

And also that if you confide in anyone that you were sexually assaulted they will go behind your back and try to stir shit up with the person who assaulted you, or at the very least spread a bunch of gossip. Happened BOTH TIMES I was assaulted. What the fuck is wrong with people.