She probably feels like you not saying yes right away to T was a no(even though you clarified, it may still seem like shell never get it to her). I feel like you ought to make a list of what you need to address with her, and sit her down when she's calm, and clearly say what you mean. She probably does expect you to call her your son, and he pronouns as well, but doesnt want to say it, because "if youre truly accepting you would treat her as a man already", or something along those lines(which, as you said, you just werent told to do that yet, so you didnt).
In regards to the "stop making it about yourself!" thing, I think that she's of the mindset that this is her issue, an effects only her. There's an ideaology that is quite fostered among the youth nowadays thats something like "I should be accepted for what I am, ASAP, no matter what! People who deny me to be what I am, or make me wait, or try to say that theyre having a hard time adjusting to it are bad!". It's also possible that she's being a teenager, and wants to talk about it, and yell and vent, but she doesnt have the proper tools or route to go about it yet(because she's a teenager).She wants her voice to be heard about the issue, but isnt feeling like shes being heard. Being 16 is hard yknow, since she's realizing who she wants to become as a person, establishing a personal identity, figuring out potential jobs and the lot.
In regards to her acting feminine: things that are fun to do are fun to do. Things that she grew up doing(girl scouts?) are hard to separate from, especially during a time where everything is changing(social expectations, etc. Given the way youve said shes acted, if you tell her she doesnt have to do xyz anymore, she might stop doing it. And teens go through phases. I know i went through a period of time where I made myself wear dresses and skirts and makeup, because "it was the last time I would have a chance to do it, so I might as well try it", or something. And in regards to the hardcore man-hating, I feel like thats just an ideaology present within younger(feminist) millennials. She doesnt really hate them, it's just that with lots of 3rd wave feminism blame is put on men.
I cant really give you any advice, but I hope my explanation helps you understand her a little better. This is just my interpretation as a another 16yo ftm. also, p.s. as a teenager, your daughter is bound to give you complete and total hell. everything you will be wrong, but she'll still need you.You're a primary figure of authority, too, and at our age, we want to control our lives and be independent(but of course, we cant. we're too young!), and anyone who gets in the way of that faces our wrath!!! This, coupled with how she probably feels she needs to transition asap, and you being the person in control of that is... well, you've seen how it is.
anyway, that kind of behavior is a phase(probably). You're supporting her enough, I feel. There isnt much more you can do. you could look more into hrt, and the side effects, and discuss with her primary care provider/ pediatrician (maybe it would be better if she wasnt there?) about how they feel about her transitioning.