My kids are catching onto this so I’ve had to do gamification (how many toys can you put away in x minutes) or be very specific about what I want them to clean (put all of your LEGO guys in bins, put all of your plates into the sink, or put all your empty juice boxes in the garbage—but never say “clean for five minutes”).

Also things like, before we do X together, I need you to do Y while I do Z. Usually they’ll see that I have a task that prevents me from doing X at that moment, but will be willing to do X in a little bit. Then they’re happy to do Y because they’re not missing out on potential X time, unless they don’t do Y, then they know X won’t happen at all.

The trauma kid needs redos and very strict boundaries on what is and isn’t acceptable tasks. Otherwise empty the dishwasher turns into either cleaning the whole house or refusing to do anything and escalating into fight mode.