People who got divorced after 20+ years together, what was the reason?

Child of parents in the middle of a nasty divorce after being married for 22 years. This is probably going to get buried, but I'll share. Throwaway and changing some details just in case.

Mom spent most of mine and my little sister's lifetime staying at home to raise us, meaning she hadn't worked a real job in quite some time. Dad served in the military for a little over two decades. The last few years of it weren't great, I'm not really sure why because it was none of my business at the time, I think it's because he and his boss didn't get along and there weren't any other available jobs in his branch of service that wouldn't force us to have to move somewhere else. He "retired" about three years ago. I say "retired" in quotation marks because normally retirement from service is something to be celebrated but for my family, it was the point where everything started to go to shit.

My dad became lazy and entitled after leaving the military. Now, I know that twenty-odd years is a long time and that his service is nothing to be dismissed, but when my dad left the military, he left without a backup plan and let several other responsibilities fall through. At first, my mom tried to help him find another job, work on resumes, etc. but he mostly brushed it off in favor of watching TV all day. He tried to start up a couple of small businesses on his own, nothing that would've been enough to be a good source of income and all of which failed within a few months of their creation. Over the next several months, she grew increasingly frustrated with him and I watched in horror as their relationship fell apart. The point I started really catching on was when she started sleeping in the guest room and they treated each other more like roommates than married partners, eventually with her avoiding him as much as possible. She did get a job herself around that time, but overall things kept getting worse.

Lots of arguing over money. How much money did we really have? How much more could we afford to lose just on living expenses without a reliable source of income? What if something expensive broke or if someone ended up in the hospital? What about sending me to college (age 15-18 at the time all this was/is happening)? He did get eventually get a real job that pays decently but by then, the damage was long done.

/r/AskReddit Thread