My mom is normally awesome, but her biggest problem is that she is a food pusher. It stems from growing up like she did; basically she cannot eat unless others are eating and this includes pets. She indulges them in treats when she wants treats, when she actually has reacts, and when she is eating her own food. They all swarm her during whenever she has food because she will give some to them. It is very annoying, and I know this caused my own problems with using food as therapy from a young age. I am trying to lose weight, but if I have a craving and ask her to pick up a small treat, she will come back with several kinds of baked goods and other things.

Long story short, I do not think it is necessarily narcissism or malicious, but it is deeply psychological and will be hard for her to stop if she is anything like my mom. My dad is a mild narc, and he often tries to control the food supply, and that makes my mom dig in her heels even more. It is a constant passive-aggressive battle between them. (He also complains about her treating the pets so much, which also makes her more stubborn.)

What it comes to my dog, I have to really watch her. If we have pancakes, she makes one for each dog, too! Last night, she gave them a hamburger patty and my dad flipped the hell out. She says it is the only way she can eat in peace because they always sit at her feet and look at her with "those eyes." I tell her that of course they do, because the rest of us will not give them food and she will.

I confront my mom about this all the time, and try to help her talk about why she needs to feed. Her dad was a narc with explosive personality issues, and he was very controlling. She has final started talking about it, but it is very slow going.

If your mom is like my mom, she will also struggle to stop. Try talking to her about why she is so worried about the puppy being hungry, and remind her to trust you to take care of the puppy. Do not let her brush you off or make light of it. Tell her it makes you feel like she doesn't think you are able to care for your pet and ask her why. My mom is actually getting better...we have managed to keep the dogs from getting fat like her last one, but it is slow going.