In the past week:

I dumped a hamper of letters onto a conveyor and discovered a loaded handgun. Taurus something-or-other chambered in .380 ACP. This hamper of mail was rejected letters, which meant this loaded handgun went through the system and was subjected to about as much trauma as being thrown in a fucking clothes dryer. It somehow didn't discharge. Probably because it's a Taurus and it wouldn't even fire if you deliberately pulled the trigger.

Someone thought it was a good idea to mail a glass jar of regular store-brand mayonnaise across the country in one of those Tyvek flat-rate priority envelopes without any sort of padding. Yeah that shit broke. I had to rewrap it, so I just wrapped the whole pile of rancid ass mayonnaise with 30 wraps of cling wrap and reaffixed the postage and address to the exterior of the cling wrap shell. Like wtf people are retarded. First and foremost, it's fucking mayonnaise. If a guy wants me to mail a jar of mayonnaise halfway across the country for him I'd say "dude just go to the store and buy a fucking jar and give me 5 bucks for wasting my time, you'll have the mayonnaise faster and you'll save money because it's cheaper than postage".