Well I was considering offering something to her- and I can say this without shame as this is a throwaway account- that I have a strap on dildo thing I used to use with my ex. I just put it on like a pair of underwear and it's a plastic 8 inch wiener.

Now, she told me last night after a minute or two of using my tongue on her to stop because "I don't think I can cum a third time". I don't think she's lying about that as she's still really into me after the attempted sex last night.

Like, she's beginning to say she loves me- we've both been scared to say it- but she texted "ti amo" to me which is I love you in Italian, and I texted her back "I love you too baby" in Chinese (I googled it, I don't speak Chinese lol). I'm considering busting out the strap on, but I'm on the fence as she seems a lot easier to please than my ex who felt the need to cheat on me because I couldn't satisfy her.

If I do bust the toy out, how would I go about cleaning it? My ex never had an STD, but I still want it to be clean for if I do offer it. Like I'm sure it's clean but want to assure my new girl it's clean before I offer to use it. Just soap and water? It's a soft plastic one, not hard plastic like a vibrator.

Also, I think I'm addicted to masturbation.. Like, I've been trying to quit but sometimes when I smoke a bowl and am home alone, my mind wanders, then it says "fuck it" and I end up relapsing and doing it. I don't want to masturbate. But God, it's like an addiction. Embarrassing as it is, I think I'm addicted. I really wanna stop. I feel if I stop my self esteem will raise and maybe I won't cum so quick. Do you think stopping masturbation will help too?

Sorry for this huge wall of text and these weird questions.. I just don't want to run this new girl off because I have a stupid penis lol.. Thank you for any question you'd be able to answer kind person :)