My wife is intelligent, funny, charismatic, giving, caring, and many other great qualities that I appreciate in a life partner.
I see, so you consider her as a life partner, rather than a lover. She's a wonderful woman, it's that she doesn't deserve the love and intimacy she craves for from the man she loves. That's probably one of the cruelest thing a man can do to a woman, and I start to feel sorry for your wife, to be honest. She's such a lovely and wonderful woman, but her husband married her just because she could provide the functions he needs in life, and he even thinks it's annoying to fuck her. Do you have any idea what you are doing to that wonderful woman?
You sound like a woman's best gay friend, a gay man can legally marry a woman, being her best friend, supporting her, but without any bit of desire to fuck her. You make yourself sound exactly like that. Christ, she is a WOMAN!! She needs someone to treat her like she's a sexy, fuckable woman! You are supposed to treat her like your lover instead of your favorite "life partner". It's not the frequency of how often you fuck her, it's your attitude! Don't give her pity sex and make her feel she doesn't deserve a great lover!
You are a great man, a wonderful husband, but a terrible lover. And you made her sound like she's the problem. I was so wrong about the whole situation.
If she's just as wonderful as you said, you'd better prepared that other men will be interested in her too, and I can't say if she will still want to be your wife by then. She's suffocating you with her needs for closeness, but you're starving her with your coldness. Be her lover, or she will find herself one. Stop blaming her for your lack of self-awareness. I mean it. Save your marriage now.
-Stella