I have the choice to not medicate. I say that meaning I used to just to be able to cope with an environment that wasn’t ideal for me, but I thought I needed to adhere to: traditional education trajectory (university), a “normal” office job, 9-5, regular schedule etc.

Now I don’t hate myself for taking forever to get ready, I’ve simplified and streamlined what I can manage but otherwise give myself the time. I have long mornings, and give myself hours before I tend to my first scheduled commitment. I work at random, sometimes only for a few minutes but other times dip into hours of immersed (and uninterrupted) productive work. But it took a lot of work on a lot of different fronts and some sacrifice to cultivate this life. I’m 30.

College was hell, I spent years deeply depressed and anxious trying to manage a 9-5 office job and normal commitments. I was on and off meds, tried meditation, and tried to treat the way my mind works as something that needs to be fixed instead of used properly.

I don’t do well committing to monotony, the way routine and regularity soothes others. I move a lot, I’m a chef, I’m an artist, I work in the cannabis industry, I build things, I write. Not one of my jobs supports me completely, but I’m financially comfortable doing the things I love without compromise. I learned to be a morning person, so I can have as much time as I need to start my day. But self discipline is something that takes time to develop so none of it is easy. But it’s rewarding to take the time to make it happen for yourself