I actually tried to work things out with the other friend for 5 months, and cutting her out was a mutual decision. Since you guys are questioning me: 1) met my 90yo grandparents for the first time and said, "My husband has ED, how's your sex life?" 2) asked me every day to go to her house, when I barely knew her, saying she was lonely and I needed to watch her unpack boxes and cook. I was trying to start a business and couldn't drop everything. Her way when I said I was busy was to pile guilt trip upon guilt trip, and tell me I was taking my fiancé away from her. 3) She complained to my FMIL on a road trip that I was taking her friend away from her, and even though I stayed up till 2am to make muffins for her, and made HER recipe, she complained about them to anyone who would listen. My FMIL, actually, was the one who told me to cut ties because she found this to be intolerable. 4) She would tell anyone who would listen that she was a swinger. When I caved once out of guilt, had her stay overnight, went out of my way to drive her around and let her drink? She complained the next day (Saturday morning) that we weren't up early enough, said the house was in disgusting shape and dirty, and said she really wanted to barge into our bedroom and jump in bed with us. Then, even after I'd JUST had her over, she reiterated that she never saw us.
Honestly? I really wanted to be this bridesmaid's BFF also. She is very, very sweet to men, and very cruel to women. In my case, I'm actually the "other woman." I'm only mentioning about 1/3 of the things she's said to me so far, just in the interest of brevity.
I've lived life long enough to know when something is hitting my gut. I love giving benefit of the doubt. But I constantly feel like I'm on an elevator with my stomach lurching with this girl. I can feel she wants to put me down and manipulate me so I'll leave my FH and she has a shot again. I'm not sure why I'm having to explain myself so hard to weddit today, but this is a really dangerous situation for me.
If anything? If your FH has some best friend? Find out if there's a romantic history there first. Again, my FMIL got involved here and said, I'm so sorry I asked this girl to help with the wedding, I know she can be very controlling, you should put her at arm's length.
But it's okay, you can think I've gone all these months with these different friends and don't know what they're up to. Or allow myself to continue being put down and abused for no reason. Do you have any reason YOU can think of that's positive for telling a future bride her FMIL says she's a pushover? Which she DIDN'T say btw. I honestly think bridesmaids are supposed to be support and help to a bride, not giving her massive anxiety attacks and ripping her down.
But you do you.