Congrats! I have mad respect for you for getting back up and trying again. Wow this resonated. I'm in a country where to attend medical school you have to "pass" in an insanely competitive first year in the top 8% of all grades, and it's not in my native language. I managed to do really well last year, but not quite well enough to pass. Still, everyone has been telling me I should repeat the year this year and with the grades I got last year, I will probably make it this time. You only get two shots at it here, after that you can't apply in to that field anymore. The thing is that I realized that the stress had led to too much drinking and shattered my nerves. I mostly hid that from everyone, other than one close family member. When people asked me how I was doing, I always brushed off the stress and just said I was working hard (which was true). As soon as the spring semester ended, though, I was at rock bottom. There were also financial struggles that led to a constant menace over my head, basically. Trying to do this here is notorious for destroying people's mental health and leading to substance abuse. We even had a lecture on it the first day of classes. I am really feeling that I need to take a sort of sabbatical year to prep more (work on my issues with the language for one thing and fill in my academic gaps), and also just to become more physically and emotionally solid, recover from drinking too much, commit to not doing that again, etc. I feel really guilty though, because med school is my dream and I don't know why I still feel so drained and weak after trying to have some rest this summer. I don't know what the heck to do.