I once entered her room and found her kneeled, chanting in latin in the middle of a red pentagram (she told me it was ketchup but I have my doubts). I noticed a black bag so I asked what was in it, she told me it was dinner. I had no interest in cooking so I was like whatever and went to my room. One hour she says dinner is ready, the meat tasted like horse but the salad was great. I asked how was her friend Stacy (very beautiful and nice girl), she told me they had a fight and she moved to North Korea.

Anyway, next week she tells me she was happy because our annoying religious neighbor would no longer be bothering us. Apparently she was pecked to death by a murder of crows.

Now this is where it gets worse, a few months later she gets a dog. It was huge black dog with crimson eyes that liked me so much it would drag me out of my bed in the morning (it managed to unlock my door).

The last day she was suddenly into me so she tied me to a stone slab and began chanting. I told her I didn't think of her like that but she continued. I got scared but at that moment the police broke into the room and tried to arrest her but she jumped from the window and disappeared. She never returned my stapler as well.