So here it is, I guess: (Throwaway)

I'm struggling to figure out if I feel the same about my SO (of 2.5 years) or if it's just all around life stress. I hesitate to even post this because I feel my pov will come off as selfish...

But to keep it simple I'll just make a bullet list

• I have a chronic pain condition, I feel like he ignores this and expects me to do things I cannot physically do.
• By my country's standards, I am disabled.
• He works two part time jobs and struggles to support himself. I am unemployed and struggle to find employment.
• I only have barely enough money to cover my rent until the end of the lease (August). This means I buy $10-$20 of groceries for myself a month or every two months. (Seems unrelated, but it isn't)
• He has used buying food for me against me in arguments, which leads me to not trust him buying things for me, even if he offers. His struggling to support himself is another reason I choose to not rely on him financially.
• He ignores the little things that could make my day less painful and then gets upset when I'm in a bad mood because I'm in pain. He says he wants to 'help' me feel better, but then when I tell him what he can do to help, he ignores what I've said. This is an ongoing cycle of tell and ignore.
• When showing me affection that is a little too rough and makes me wince, he completely shuts down instead of letting me explain that just simply having a lighter touch wouldn't hurt so much.

I really feel that I didn't explain this very well. My mind is always full of thoughts and trying to figure out where the problem is. I've been wondering if our relationship should be put on hold for a while so I can straighten myself out, or if it should end completely because when I think of a future with him, I don't like it, like I used to. There's a feeling there for him, I'm just not sure what it is when it's covered in all of my own problems.