I was a broke punk rocker who just got fired from a grocery store, living with my stoner Christian parents who blew my college fund to send bibles to El Salvador. So I knew I needed a job and after a random encounter in Los Angeles, I ended up becoming a repo man. I learned with the best, but even that can't keep you safe. I've been beaten up, maced, hospitalized, even shot at.

But the craziest repo story I ever had concerned this old Chevy Malibu. The commission on that was $20,000! That's crazy money, and every repo man in the city was after that car, and we weren't alone. The FBI was after this car too. I should've let it go, but I wanted that commission. Plus, my girlfriend had this weird conspiracy theory about the car, so I kinda had to humor her.

You guys probably don't know about the story because a lot of it was covered up, but shit hit the fan. Things got really violent and weird. There was some talk about what was in the trunk of the car, and that's what got everybody crazy about it. Supposedly it had caused some mysterious deaths to not only the driver, but a cop in New Mexico and even this asshole I used to hang out with, oddly enough. And after I got close enough to the source, I was told what was in the trunk: the bodies of two...I don't know what you'd call them. Beings? But the story was that they were not from Earth.

At first I called bullshit on that. I saw a picture of them and I laughed because it looked like sausage. But then the car got pulled back to our yard one night right as like every law enforcement agency in Los Angeles convened on it. That started me believing. I mean it had to be something. Then out of nowhere, fucking lightning starts crashing down all around the car. In LA! In the summer! And then the car started to glow. I thought maybe it was because it got hit by lightning, but it didn't stop glowing. It just got brighter and brighter.

The mechanic at our yard, who was this weird conspiracy nut, then just walks up to the car and gets in like he owns the thing. And this is what nobody wants to admit, but I swear that car started to float. Next thing you know, it just zips past us and disappears. Nobody knew what the hell to make of it. This was over 20 years ago, and I still can't get this out of my mind. Sometimes I think back to it and wonder if I was in that car too, and this is all just another dimension. Sorry for the wall of text, but that was the weirdest thing that ever happened to me, repo man or not.