No you are not fucked up, the cycle of shame is more common than we think and it happens even if you are having sex; Get a strong sexual urge -> Feel embarrassed for having a overwhelming sexual urge because it makes it impossible to focus ->  I’m not strong enough to control my desires -> Feel embarrassed for said lack of control > Abstain from sex as a test -> Fail test cause a girl gotta eat -> Get mad you couldn’t totally abstain  -> Hate yourself for being an unrepentant whore.

Lot of these feelings is the result of growing up in a culture where 'sexual abstinence/virginity' the very thing you are ashamed of is highly valued at least until marriage, it took introspection which you are showing and support to overcome these feelings of inadequacies in my experience.