My patients always look disappointed when the hour is over. That's how I know I'm a good at my job. Now, we don't know each other, so maybe you think they look disappointed because they feel they haven't done everything they wanted to do. But I see how they squirm and fidget and whimper when i say time is up. I know what I see and the honest truth is they look disappointed because being with me for that one hour was a fucking godsend.
Lots of shrinks don't get this, but the in modern therapy is you have help people be sad. Back with Freud and Jung, we were helping people be happy, but now we're helping them be sad. The thing you have to remember is back in the day, back when everything was tea time and horse carriages on cobblestone and Vienna and petticoats, everyone knew things were going to be shit. Your dad would beat you, then your husband. The clap was just forever. The priests made you feel guilty for everything. So we had to convince people that they could let in a little bit of happy without feeling like a fraud.
But now you have to help people be sad. They think if they're not just fucking beaming with joy, all day, every day, then they're suckers. The hot chicks on TV, they're really living life, forty minutes a week. It's plain as day. That's what everyones supposed to be now. So if you're not measuring up to hot chicks on TV, it feels like garbage. So when they come to my office, I tell them it's okay to be shitty. I spend an hour with some shitty middle aged woman making her okay with hating her water cooler to cubicle to minivan life. Then, when I tell her we're done, she suddenly realizes she actually has it decent. She begs me for more time. But the hour is what I promised to give, so that's what I give. Making sure you have clear boundaries with your patients is important. If they think they can get away from you, or change the power dynamics, the whole thing fails. So the hour is a firm hour. And when it ends, they're wishing it hadn't.
Whether my methods could work long term, who knows. Long term isn't the point. The point is letting someone just be sad, right there, in the moment. Like I said, most other shrinks just don't get it. That's probably why they're still letting the patients decide if they want help.