First let me start by saying I am as queer as a 3 dollar bill, never been attracted to girls ever, but what self respecting man lets his son, even a gay son, wear make-up and act effeminate? I know I am going to get down voted to Hell for saying this and you are probably going to be really angry at me for saying it but it needs to be said. I honestly think a big part of this boy's problem is you, yes YOU! You have utterly failed him as a father for not nipping this girly shit the bud when it first started. I honestly think that when he came out, you probably checked out.
Your son may realize that you have "written him off" so to speak this and may actually be seeking attention by wearing make up. When teens get excessive tattoos, piercings and wild hair do’s, they are making a cry for help. Most teens go through a period where they try to assert their independence. But when teens go overboard there is usually something deeper going on. These are signs that he may really be struggling with some deep emotional issues.
I am assuming that if he is 17 and came out three years ago this behavior has been going on for quite a while. Who in the Hell started buying him the effeminate clothes and the make-up? Since most kids 16 and under don't have cars, jobs, or their own money someone was enabling this behavior by buying it for him or at least paying for it after he picked it out at the cosmetics counter. If it was you SHAME ON YOU! If it was your wife SHAME ON HER, AND SHAME ON YOU for not stopping her from aiding and abetting this behavior!
You cannot make your son straight, he was born gay. That said, there is still time to salvage this YOUNG MAN'S future and give him some self respect and mold him into a MAN instead of a Goddamn freak show that will probably be unemployed, unemployable, homeless and living on skid row in some gay ghetto like San Francisco until he either commits suicide or dies of an overdose. If you really love your son, you need to give him is some "tough love" and ship this Nancy boy's ass off to prep school an all male military boarding school like Fork Union Military Academy.
FUMA prohibits homosexual acts and girls are not allowed (so the str8 boys aren't getting laid either), mandates thrice-weekly chapel attendance and Cellphones are banned so no Grindr or Tinder. The boys are required to wear uniforms, no girly clothes or make-up allowed! Also, parents are not allowed to come up there and interfere with he process of molding boys, (even gay boys) into MEN! Parents are only allowed on campus for special occasions.
Your son will probably be mad as Hell at you for sending him to military school, he might hate you and swear he is never going to speak to you again and that is OK, but a place like FUMA is what your son desperately needs. He might cry when you tell him that you are sending him away to military school. (I sure did) He won't be the only gay boy at that place, not by a long shot, nor will he be the only troubled teen sent there by his dad because realized his son was headed down the wrong path and didn't know what else to do.
FUMA can't make your son straight but it will change his life for the better and you will be amazed at the transformation when you come for your first visit. My parents were. Someday decades later your son might even thank you.
I am sure glad my dad sent me there back in '89 when I was a very depressed and troubled closeted gay teen contemplating suicide. If he hadn't I doubt I'd be alive today.