Hi there friend, thanks for posting here today and well done on staying clear of the booze.

Firstly, I have to say that what that guy did is completely unacceptable. Completely, completely wrong. I've had people do similar stuff to me in the past and it's a horrible feeling. I think you were right to get angry with him, and if it happens again perhaps you can escalate it somehow with someone at work, a manager or something? People who do that stuff usually fold very quickly when they get any kind of consequences from people more powerful than them. And frankly, they need them. I've had experience dealing with bullies and it does require a heavy hand from people above them, at least in my experience.

About the whole self image thing, well I'm not that far along in my sobriety but I can definitely feel a change, also similar to what you've talked about. I just don't want to accept any s*** from anyone - not in an touchy, self-defensive sort of way - just that I'm tired of other people's opinions about me. This includes friends and family. I've always felt like a bit of a loser in my circles, someone to laugh at a bit. It's not entirely true, but it does happen. For me, when I think about it, their opinions just don't worry me that much anymore. I look after myself, I'm trying to keep my side of the street clean, and so unhelpful opinions I won't listen to (let me stress, UNHELPFUL opinions, not necessarily negative opinions or constructive criticism - I definitely need some of that at times!). Sobriety is a gift that keeps giving - one of the benefits is working out who you are inside, and this gives you a much safer footing when it comes to dealing with life. You'll get there.

As for the weight stuff, I've struggled with this too. For me the keys to losing weight have been these (obviously I'm not telling you you have to do this, what do I know about health and nutrition? Almost nothing).

• Not drinking (without this all the other things go right out the window...)
• Eating low carb (no sugar, grains, lots of veggies and healthy proteins and fats) five days a week
• A cheat day (not going overboard, of course)
• A fasting day (or just another low carb day if I can't manage a fast).
• A mindset of "What works and what doesn't work?" and NOT "Oh man I messed up again better eat everything in sight".
• Sports that I actually ENJOY doing, regularly (tennis, frisbee and swimming, in my case).

I must emphasise that this is what has worked FOR ME. It took me ages to work out that everyone is different. What works for one won't work for all. Hence if it's not working for me, I try to change it up... And for me, living healthier is just a way to be happier. There is no other goal.

Anyway, I'm not going to drink with you today :) Take care of yourself!!