I just turned 18 a couple months back. She was just 17.

We were in my van. I thought i was soo cool cause i could finally drive. She and i were good friends. It was 2AM and she was having family problems, i drove by her place to hangout in my car and talk and smoke cigarettes or whatever. We went to the back of the van, sat around listening to music, smoking and talking about school, family. She kissed me. I said okay..just a kiss..its fine..she kept kissing me. Making out with me. I didn't want it to be awkward. I didn't stop her. She unbuttoned my pants. She started to touch me. I said we shouldn't, she said it was okay. She started giving me oral to get me harder. She climbed on top of me and i said we need to stop. It's not okay. She said we were doing it. She said if i didn't, she'd tell everyone that i raped her.

Who were they going to believe? The hormonal teenage guy? Or the teenage troubled girl?

I had to let it happen.

She took my pack of cigarettes after and went back inside. I never went back to class. I had panic attacks for 3 weeks straight.

I never got any recourse. I've lived with it for years. Even now, i still would never feel comfortable coming out with this story.