I did it twice. First time was basically a mental breakdown. Mother died, friend died, lost my job, girlfriend dumped me, car shit the bed. My grandmother who I hadn't even spoken to in 5+ years took me to court claiming I owed her money and had threatened her. Got a restraining order, got me kicked out of my home and convinced most of my family that I was a violent mental case. Got fucked over by some friends, got fucked over by another girl. All this in a span of a few months.
Finally said fuck it, I'm out. Just left my friend's house in the middle of the night and took off and never went back. Only kept in contact with was the ex for a little while, but it wasn't good. Tbh I kinda blamed her for a lot of what was going on and treated her like shit. Nowadays I look back on it and realize she was the only person who attempted to have any sort of relationship with me and help me out. Last time I talked to her was a few days after I left, called her from a payphone asking if I could stay with her and she finally said no. Hung up and that was the last I would hear from any of my friends or family ever again.
Second time was about a year later. I had been basically homeless during this time. Made some new "friends" who got me into heroin and coke. Did a lot of shit I'm not proud of. I was never suicidal but I was still in "fuck it" mode and didn't really care if I lived or died, went to jail, whatever. One day a dealer - who had just a few days prior refused to sell to me because he said he was afraid I was going to die and didn't want to be responsible for it - died of an OD. Then I got into a fight with one of my "friends" and got so mad I picked him up and flipped him right out of his wheelchair, Big Lebowski style.
These two things combined I think sort of set something off inside me. Moment of clarity or whatever. It occurred to me that, holy shit, I literally just dumped disabled person out of their wheelchair. This is the person I have allowed myself to become. An absolute scumbag. Realized it was time to hit the reset button again. Cut contact with, again, literally every person I knew to that point, save for one. A friend who was in the process of trying to clean up his own act. He hooked me up with a room with his father. I quit drugs cold turkey (that was fucking rough). Got a job, met a girl (now my wife), saved up for a new car, and a new place, etc.
That was in 02, I think. Things are obviously so much better now. I'm in a much better place. Have so many great people in my life. Sometimes I think about this stuff, like when I go back and read all the shit I just put down, and I just can't even believe the type of person I was. Like a completely different life. I'm grateful for everything I have now but in some ways it almost feels like I don't deserve it. But I'll take it.