Life for me, was never so easy. Financially I have struggled a lot in my teens, yet I never complained because my parents did all they can to make me finish my degree! Although I enjoyed my teenage with whatever I had and awesome friends, I never had chance to build decent PC or anything which involves slightly higher price. I thought I can turn tables once I get a job. That was just proven tough. It was recession, and getting a job was a tedious task, forget about job with decent pay. After 4 years of struggle, I managed to get decent pay, which is enough for me to accommodate myself in decent house, food and frequent travels. I was starting to enjoy my single life, and get the little joys which I missed in my teens.
And it happened! Marriage. Out of nowhere, my parents forced me to get married soon. So I got married and suddenly things were lot tougher to manage. Wife quit the job once she got pregnant. Things again turn from good to worst! Yet, we managed. After my kid born, things seems going well. I got hike, pay also was more than enough. And bam! My son was diagnosed with serious disorder. Which needs therapies, regular checkups, loads of medicines to get him to shape. And all this has to be for next 7-8 years. So I started working hard, switched a couple of jobs and got decent pay to meet all this demands.
And I was sitting calmly, taking care of my kid, enjoy frequent trips and outings. Things were good for whole 10 months! I couldn't believe my eyes and I was over the cloud. And it happened again! My wife got some severe knee pain due to all the weight she gained and couldn't bear the pain. And here I am, trying hard in work and trying to get the hike so I can afford to pay for her treatment. And it looks like it is in a long distance. Hike is next month, and it took us at least $100-150 for every visit which is a big amount for me(I'm in India!).
All these while, I sacrificed my own hobbies, stopped going out for dinner, stopped hanging out with friends, stopped bowling, stopped video games, reduced eating my favorite dish because the damn veggie cost us dearly. And I have started going to my office by bike to reduce the gas expense! I'm not complaining for what's happening to me, but rather I sigh for myself. All I can think of at the moment is, "Why God, why? Why is it always me?".
Not a single day pass by without me stressing out on all those things and my back is killing me for past 1 year, but I couldn't afford to pay for it. Because if I pay for it, my kids therapy will be off the table. And every time I take painkiller, I say this to myself "Next hike, we should go check it with a doctor!".
I was not supposed to write this, but I felt I will feel better if I vent things out here instead of some real person.