Living with my grandparents in quarantine. I’m a freshman in college and got kicked out of my dorm for the rest of the semester. My mom lives out of state so I’m staying with my grandparents to avoid flying. I am a very independent person and I like to be alone most of the time. According to my mom they were helicopter parents and it seems nothing has changed.
They are actually driving me insane. I have no privacy because my grandma barges into my room every 5 seconds. I can’t even fill up my water without getting caught in conversation for at least an hour. They both love politics and have the news on 24/7 which results in me getting lectures on how the party they dislike is full of idiots (the one I am planning on voting for this year, unbeknown to them). My grandpa also seems to have a very bad memory and tells me the same stories and lectures multiple times every day- I still get lectured to brush my teeth and I am 18. I just want to lock myself in my room and be alone but then they make passive aggressive remarks about how I’m in my room too often and text my mom to complain.
I also am a very picky eater and eat very slowly and often not that much. This is something that is common in my family but not to them. Every day they have the same thing for dinner (steak and corn). I am not the biggest fan of steak but I eat it anyways to be polite. After the first two weeks I have gotten so sick of it I don’t think I’ll be able to eat another steak in my life. I’ve tried to express that I just don’t like these things and that they have it too often but they seem to ignore this. Instead my grandma monitors every bite of food I take and then makes comments on my weight and figure saying “this is why she’s so skinny” or that my mom didn’t raise me right and things alike. I am underweight and very insecure about it so most of the time this just makes me angry and even less motivated to eat my food.
Just to point out more of our differences, they are very religious and I am an atheist. I love science and biology and my grandpa loves to try and convince me of conspiracy theories while I have to bite my tongue on how some of the things he comes up with are actually physically impossible. We butt heads on every topic but they think I agree because I just nod my head and smile to avoid an argument.
Also, I have been struggling with feelings of loneliness from not seeing my friends and boyfriend. Even though my grandparents are constantly in my business I still feel isolated because I can’t be myself. I am jealous of all of my friends at their family’s homes with their siblings doing fun activities while I am stuck here. They aren’t very good at answering their phones either so I have no one to have a conversation with and spend most of my days doing schoolwork and wallowing in my situation.
This just makes me feel guilty because I know people have much worse situations than me and there is so much loss and grieving going on right now. Because of this I keep my feelings to myself but I really don’t know how I’m going to get through this quarantine with my mental health in tact. My loneliness and having to constantly be fake and polite despite all of the ignorant, racist, and homophobic shit that comes out of their mouths is taking a toll on me. There hasn’t been a night I haven’t cried.
I feel like one day I am going to snap and ruin my relationship with them. To make myself sound even more selfish- they are very generous and their financial support is the only thing keeping my family and I afloat. So I really can’t afford to speak my mind, they have cut every family member besides my mom, brother, and I, out of their will (including their son- my dad). Sorry this is so long and thank you if you took the time to read it.