Ok.

Ready for the unpopular opinion?

I think you should have a real conversation with your spouse about whether a lifetime sexually monogamous commitment is realistic for the both of you. You should also have a conversation about making sure that if either of you makes a mistake on your monogamous commitment, to ensure that it’s not a relationship extinction level event.

For many people, your sex drive will increase moderately over the next ten years, and his will remain static or decrease somewhat.

Also, you could ask him to provide comfort to you on nights he is not up for sex. Essentially, this means he kisses you while you use a vibrator.

It sounds like you two are a good match overall.

Btw, my wife and I have a deal. It’s not something I want to talk about in the comments, but if you would like to know about it you could DM me (or DM her if that makes you feel more comfortable).