November 7, 2012, I was where you were at now.

A failed suicide attempt, lots of bridge burning, feeling like a failure and a waste of space because I, like you, was trapped in my own mind and my addiction.

I went to cut. Then a thought: "What the fuck am I doing? What does this prove?" It changed everything.

It has been three years, eleven months and three days since that day. In the 3.11 since, I've quit cutting, I've gotten therapy, I've completely changed up my friends and the people I associate with, gotten more or less sober, a job and my life is nowhere near as dark and cold as it was November 7, 2012.

You are taking the first step and reaching out. Here is your olive branch. I want you to take it, hang on, and use it as a way to reach out. In the morning, or wherever you are at, I want you to call someone, preferably a therapist if you have one. If not them, call a friend, family member. Talk to SOMEONE. Get someone present in your life.

If you don't have that, I want you to look up the number for the national AA hotline. Call them. Tell them where you live and they can shoot you the place where a meeting is. It is DAUNTING AS FUCK but go. Go. You aren't required to do anything but be there. But I will tell you right now it will help to be around people who are and were in your same shoes. If anything, they can hook you up with counseling resources.

Hun, your life can change..it won't be easy or a walk in the park, but it can change for the better if you give yourself a chance.