It's hardly naive to recognize the importance of fair dealing in trade negotiations. This isn't like negotiating a price on a car where you're stuck with it for a few years and may not even be in the same state when you buy another. If the United States screws another country in a trade deal, the other country can simply back out of it or refuse to honor it.
As far as the tech advances from military spending every single one of those was far more substantially contributed to by private nonmilitary spending. Engineers at Boeing can readily be working on civilian craft instead. Doing so has more benefits than yet another overpriced military contract.
Except money, which was the only reason they were in negotiations in the first place.
Money which tales a while to show up and takes a while to balance through the economy. More than enough time for the person who took a risk negotiating a potentially unpopular trade deal to lose their office. Again, why make life difficult for the people we want to work collaboratively with? Why do we want the implication to be that anyone who works with us must be doing so as the result of blackmail rather than mutually beneficial cooperation? That perception of impropriety can cause politicians to reject even simple measures.
As far as the United States tech industry, US firms have lost a lot of money from the NSA compromising their systems and this is spurring a lot of countries to ratchet up their data privacy laws which are excluding American companies from participating. Its one of the reasons that google has found itself in opposition to the White House. The NSA is quite rightly viewed as having taken an anti industry position and jeopardized American companies in doing so.
The NSA simply is not interested in saving American lives. They have worked against cyber security favoring offensive measures so instead of having safe control systems for our plants and infrastructure, the BSA has worked to keep the systems vulnerable in the hopes of using it against other countries. But at the risk of anyone using it against the United States. Further what does the NSA care? Successful attacks result in an increase of budgets. Which is likely why they are so focused on empire building rather than meaningful systems. The metadata program for example is utterly useless in addressing terrorism but highly effective as a means of blackmail of government officials.