I am actually one of those people right now, I know all of the help available to me. I even have $200 on my card for food stamps, but I am terrified to leave my home. Ive been here for weeks piecing together remnants of food, feeling weak and unhealthy. I'm going to be homeless any day now, and I know the help is out there but I feel so strongly that only I alone can fix my problems.

I am self aware, at least but that's kind of the most disturbing part. I'm no criminal, I don't use drugs, I don't even drink alcohol. I'm "educated".

But I feel too much shame to ask for help, not because of pride but because I feel I don't deserve it and I don't see it as the solution.

I know I have mental illness but I can't bring myself to recieve help. And because I know something is wrong in my mind I fear to be extroverted in any manner. I've had so many people who love me offer help, but I'm kind of just standing in place watching everything collaps around me.

Anyway, not a sob story-- just merely potentially insightful!