I was depressed and made a similar post like yours (on a different account). I said I was a failure, labeled my self it and said i was done. I had tried so many times to fix myself but i could never do it. I had failed every time. I was caught in this never ending spiral of depression, waking up tired, going to bed stressed. I thought i could never break it.
Then there was a spark. A friend of mine gave me hope. He told me something that seems weird but it stuck to me. I don't remember word for word but it was something like "Be naked. Show yourself to this world. No more hiding. Be like that kid who never considers that what she/he is doing may be wrong. She runs around dancing in front of the world; full of smiles. He tries to get a closer look at the pond and falls in; yet laughs. These type of people are naked. They have no hidden motive, no reason to be afraid of the world. In a world where you're constantly reminding yourself of you're flaws and thinking that anyone who looks at you is judging, and finding a way to manipulate you. There is a lot more love in the world than the media can make us believe. Be apart of that love. The people who bring you down in this world only do it as a means of making themselves feel better. These people are destructive. Their subconscious of their flaws deep down; self conscious. They need more love in their life.
There are people in the world who care what others think and have empathy. Look at this subreddit. There are people in this world who will love your for who you are. Open you're heart when you can - even to people who seem entirely negative. They too need love.
Next time you get self-conscious in public or hate yourself for who you are, become naked. You cannot live in this world pretending to be something you're not and be happy. The truly happiest people are naked, meaning that they are free. They do not see them selves as being judged but as apart of a world fulled with love. Live Your Life. Do what You Want To Do. The Big Things and The Small Things. Be Open With You're Heart and Happiness and Love Will Find You. Doesn't matter if you think you're weird, that's what makes you human. It sometimes sounds like the believe in yourself shit you hear but this is different. It somewhat feels like your not forcing belief but you're just living your life without barriers."
I took this spark of motivation. Not as I would do with the crap on Get Motivated. I took it to heart. I needed this spark to ignite my life, thrust itself into a new chapter. I Needed this spark so bed that i held on to it as strong as i could until i too became happy. You need this to be the lowest point in you're live. This needs to be the spark that turns your around. Do not let this one pass.
Einstein: "A human being is a part of the whole, called by us 'Universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security."
Videos I watched during the time i got through my depression. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWZGAExj-es https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn4_40hAAr0
TL;DR: I'm sorry you feel like this. I really honestly want you to get better. The world will be a better place with you in it; diverse and free. Please read this. It hurts me to see you in so much pain. :(