Here's my turn:
About a year ago I passed my driving exam so I can legally drive now. Ever since then my dad kept making me drive at least once a week; at first I was kinda angry with the idea, but then I liked it. But then he slowly started bitching and being a cunt all the time! I forget to signal that one time on a turn and he goes fucking ape shit "boy you gotta learn how to signal! I understand it has to be learned slowly, no one learns it in one go, but you still gotta signal properly!" Fuck sake dad! Don't you think I know this shit? Stop being my fucking brain and telling me what I'm thinking, you know how fucking annoying this is? Yeah I made a mistake, I fucking now it! STOP TELLING ME I MADE A MISTAKE! Fucking hell, he doesn't even properly signal himself. Great job dad, 30 fucking years of driving experience and you still forget to signal, stfu, I got enough fucking problems with UNI; stop giving me this fucking bullshit! I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO BE A GOOD DRIVER; BUT FUCKING GET GOOD YOURSELF YOU CUNT!
Every fucking time I think about angry thoughts I get fucking mucus pouring out of my fucking nose! Even now! Fuck! WHY!!???
My mom keeps bitching and moaning to me like a fucking old hag! "Put some clothes on or you'll catch a cold!" No mom, I don't wanna! You don't get a flu from the fucking cold! Then she keeps bitching to me how God will punish me that I'm an athiest; fuck sake mom, wake fucking up! There is no God! I understand she was raised in those retarded USSR times (we come from Ukraine) but come fucking on! USSR IS OVER! Fuck; I bet someone is gonna read this and think "oh, but it's not over!" Idfc, it's over for me and my family.
I can't find a good fucking game to play these days at fucking all! I played all the good fucking games and now I can't enjoy the new stuff cause it's all shit! Oh, new batman game? Shit combat, I don't like batman, shit opimisation, feels so fucking gamy with it's collectible shit. Fuck sake devs, why do you keep making this open world collecting shit! MAD MAX, WHY DO YOU HAVE SHITTY COLLECTIBLE GRINDY SHIT TO COLLECT???? ARE YOU A FUCKING MMO NOW? Are games trying to be fucking mmos???? Right now the only hard-on I can get these days is from indie fucking devs; but I want a big expensive world with lots of options and indie devs don't have enough fucking money for that! The last game I had a proper good hard-on for was skyrim, and that was a fucking disappointment; "lets remove acrobatics and athletics!" Fuck you bethesda!
I have a friend who I play and talk daily with; we usually play league/dota2 every day. He won't fucking stop bitching and talking; I swear to fucking god, SHUT THE FUCK UP! STOP TELLING PEOPLE THEY ARE SHIT IF YOUR SHIT YOURSEFL! I'm a gold V and he's a silver 4, but he just won't fucking shut up at critizising people in fucking matches. We go up against a diamond 5 ADC and a gold 1 supp and we dominate them "Omg, they suck, idk why we're still at silver/gold cause we're better than them" it's fucking normals you cunt! Stop thinking your fucking faker! Maybe they just had a fucking bad day??? MAYBE??? NO??? Fucking cunt; he never fucking listens to me either, yes, fucking listen to PROs but not your fucking friend!
I have another friend who I play league with too; this cunt man, this cunt. He thinks he's the fucking king of the world!!!!!! "OMFG mytro (my nickname)??? Why did you do that?? That was so fucking stupid!" IT was now wasn't it??? OFC IT WAS CAUSE YOU SAY IT???!?!! Fucking dick of a cunt; sure your a platinum V, but stfu up! Fucking cunt tells me how to play my champion even though he only played him like 10 times! M8, I play him every-fucking-day-multiple-times! In total I've played that fucking champion over 500 times! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME HOW TO PLAY HIM YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MOTHERFUCKING COCK???? I DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING VICTOR MID-LANE!!! Fucking cunt; he won't shut up either, bitches like a parrot on cocaine! "Oh, wow, what a flay mytro, nice job..." stfu you piece of shit cunt, you don't know shit about my thresh!
I've never fucking had a girlfriend. Oh my fucking god man; being a picky person is the worst curse you can ever fucking get! Here I fucking am, browsing reddit league of legends or gamerpals trying to fucking find a female player who hopefully fits my standards! What a fucking joke in my fucking cunty face! I asked out like 3 chicks in my school days; all said fucking no "I'm sorry, I'm taken by my boyfriend who I haven't seen in like 2 years..." omfg, stfu you whore and tell me you don't wanna go out instead of this obvious lying bullshit! Fuck; I'm too scared to submit a reddit post asking for "female gamers" cause they'll think I'm some creepy fucking stalker that wants some lolicon! Fucking hell; what a life man! WHAT A FUCKING LIFE!!! I bet once I find some viable candidate on league connect or gamer pals she's gonna check my reddit history out and find this fucking rant; oh fucking boy! OH FUCKING BOYY!!!!!!!
FUCK! THIS FUCKING SNOT SHIT IS STILL COMMING OUT!!! FUCK SAKE!!!! IDK WHY I'M TYPING THIS ANYMORE!??!?!?
Fucking riot, man; FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT RIOT!!! WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT FUCKING URF MODE???? "We don't want players to get used to urf mode and let it become the new dominion mode" stfu you piece of shit, cock sucking, motherfucking CUNTS! I WANT URF MODE SO I CAN PROPERLY PRACTICE MY FUCKING PLAYS WITHOUT HAVING TO WASTE TIME STARRING AT YOUR FUCKING GAME WAITING FOR MY FLASH TO GO OFF COOLDOWN YOU PIECE OF SHIT CUNTS! Give me my fucking urf mode allready! CUNTS! FUCKING 6 years of developing this shitty game and you still don't fucking have a replay system in place? WTF IS THIS?? IS this some fucking sick joke?? AM I FUCKING DREAEMING THIS SHIT? WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME A FUCKING SANDBOX MODE AND A FUCKING REPLAY SYSTEM? Instead you keep giving me shitty excuses and telling me to stfu and play the game! NO! I WANT FUCKING URF MODE!
snot, o' snot' o' why! WHY DO YOU fucking LEAK??
I--I think I'm done...