It is a hard read and quite relatable, although I have had a fairly dysfunctional family too but you definitely had it worse. It's a negatively reinforcing environment that you live in, no support or love from others that makes you sad, lonely and depressed which makes you indulge in PMO because that has been your coping mechanism for years but since you have realized this, it is followed by a deep sense of regret and shame after you are done. To conquer this cycle you need to change your environment, get need loving people in your life and all the while fighting the habit of PMO. Now, this won't happen overnight but if you have a plan then you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. There would always be hard days, but you can do this, for those days you might need extra help for which you need to find people around your place that have gone through a similar situation. If you can't find anyone then start your own thing, ever wonder why people are standing in public places holding a cardboard saying 'Free hugs'? Maybe they once felt the need to be hugged but nobody did. Now they have gotten around themselves to change that, that person could be you. So get a job that allows you to move out of your place away from the people that make you sad, in this new place don't get an internet connection, start frequenting libraries when you need to get some work done. Go to local town meetings, start your discussion club, get a book that absorbs you into changing yourself, I suggest James Clear's Atomic Habit. On the days' depression is too hard, you might want to take help of a therapist. But if you keep on doing this you will eventually be okay and happy.