Dont fool yourself. you do have victims. without the contribution of your role, imperialist ventures wouldnt be as smooth for your side. at the very least. a lot of killers lived to kill another day because of you.
That being said, its better that you have debt than your victims continue suffering. im of course powerless to enforce but dont expect a guy from the third world to sympathize with a troop who refuses to defect, knowing that he's participating in something genocidal and horrible.
your exploitation doesnt give you permission to exploit others, in the name of your exploiters, to save your own ass. I stopped caring about your life story the second you decided youd target me in a coward backstabbing effort to save only yourself.