Those who have done so, what made you decide to "lower your standards" when it comes to dating/sex? How has it worked out for you?

A few years ago, I was lonely with low self esteem and decided to lower my standards because I wanted to feel wanted, etc. Found an okay looking dude who wasn't my type, but he was "future stability cute", as in I wasn't wildly attracted to him but he was attractive enough to not be repulsed by him. In his mind I was way out of his league, so it essentially gave me full control of the relationship (when we had sex, etc). It, uh, didn't work out. I realized I was a massive flaming homo, and I chose guys who were "future stability cute" because I just wanted a believable beard where I would be able to put minimal effort into the relationship to keep it going. He was a nice enough guy in the beginning, but when he turned into a sexist jerk even before I dropped the gay-bomb on him (post breakup), so I don't have a lot of remorse for him, just for my time wasted.

I actually did this again with a woman a little while later. I lowered my standards significantly personality-wise. We had very little in common except for the vices I had (playing too many video games, being a total recluse, binge-watching netflix and avoiding responsibilities), but I was lonely and she was into me, so I said "why not" and gave it a go. It backfired horribly and her thinking I was way out of her league was essentially a death sentence to the relationship because apparently that had never happened to her before. Her deep-seeded insecurities came to light and good god there was no escaping them. She was paranoid I was cheating on her at every moment, whether I was physically with her or not. Constantly fishing for reassurance, needing verbal validation all the time. Insecurity is not an attractive look. It spiraled into this vortex of accusations and suspicion; I was always lying to her in her eyes, and I felt like I was living my life on eggshells. This was the story of two people who were just very poorly matched.

tl;dr: No, it didn't work.

/r/AskWomen Thread