3. TIFU on a first date

TIFU on a first date

I type out how it happened here: http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/36qpub/tifu_on_a_first_date/crgomj8

I have some issues.

When you go through life rarely do you consider most people beyond what they provide you

This is an interesting discussion, because I really don't have this same basis. I treat people like people first. I see people as an entire universe that I want to know and love, and often don't realize what people actually really physically look like for months after I meet them.

Now people react much more to sexual objectification because its someting ugly women wont experience and theres jealousy

Do you really think this is a part of the negative reaction? I know why I react negatively, and this is definitely not a part of it :/

The problem is if you only TREAT people like objects, you'll never connect with anyone and you'll be alone and isolated.

This I agree with, but why is it not also true if you only think about people as objects? Then do you really have a true connection with anyone?

You shouldn't be afraid of it, even if you were the sexiest woman or man on earth there would still be millions of people not attracted to you.

Yeah haha when I had self esteem issues many years back, this really bothered me actually.

I am still not sold, I'm sorry. Maybe if I tell you why I think objectifying people is a bad thing? I mean, it means you are prejudging them based on a set of physical characteristics. It means you are not making yourself as vulnerable to them as you could, which means that you would not be capable of having as intimate of a connection. It's like, how you can't have an emotional connection with a refrigerator or a wall (well if you could you may be delusional).

And lastly (and most importantly), I think objectifying someone is bad because it puts expectations onto them which are many times unfair. For instance, if you have a sexual fantasy with someone you find attractive and see in your every day life (a coworker for instance), well you have never had sex with them. You have no idea what they'd be like! What if you wind up having sex with them and it is so different it is disappointing? That just isn't fair to them at all.

I'm not sold because I think I really, truly don't objectify people. I think it is a choice, and I can't imagine why you would choose to do it. Then again, sometimes when I am really horny, I really WANT to objectify people. Like this guy I am talking to now... I can see us fucking in my mind and I think it is so hot and I want it so bad, but we've had sex before so that's different. It's more like I am remembering what it was like and wanting it again. Maybe I am not even sure what it means to objectify someone? I can't imagine looking at someone and really wanting to fuck them before I knew them well. If I do find myself doing that (like if I am drunk, and not as in control), I guide myself back to more positive ways of thinking.

Maybe I just don't do it because I am a practiced meditator? I don't know, more thoughts please!

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