TITP calls person a "sad sack of shit" when he or she tries to convince a 16 year old girl that she won't regain her weight that she lost.

I don't like or agree with the way statistics like these are presented. I am legally disabled by OCD and there is a 1 in 3 chance of someone with OCD greater than a 30 on the Y-BOCS to be refractory (not respond to treatment.)

Sure that means the odds were in my favor. But a 30% chance of never getting off disability and being doomed to continue spiraling out of control until you die is not a fun thing to consider. You know what though? I had a realization. I had a choice to make. It wasn't like there was some magical unseen factor that determined my status; I had to choose to be a part of my treatment.

I can't really describe what it's like to do response prevention therapy because it's a pretty bizarre (and extremely painful) experience even after 20 years of getting to know my disease. Today I had to sit in sunlight. That's my biggest fear, by far. I sat with an ear and my neck exposed to sunlight for 20 minutes. Let me tell you: It's probably been 8 or 9 years since the sun has touched any part of my skin aside from my legs for more than 2-3 seconds. It was completely awful. I broke down and cried in public, surrounded by people, for like 30 minutes afterwards. But that's unimportant; I started the long road of challenging the things that are destroying me.

My point with all of this? That scary 1 in 3 chance of being fucked no matter what is an illusion. It just means 1 in 3 people don't get better. Trust me, it'd be way easier for me to just say fuck it and continue living in my pitch black den, avoiding the outdoors until the sun sets for the rest of my life... but I said "enough is enough" and decided to do something about it. It's going to be hard. I'm never going to have a normal relationship with the sun. But I can be a functioning, happy member of society with fastidious hard work.

Those statistics for weight loss just show most people don't really decide enough is enough. And I can kind of understand why: it takes forever for a problem that completely ruins your life to show up. But they are choosing to fail.

I'm programmed from the very core to fear sunlight. It's built into me at this point. It's part of a severe, disabling neurological disease. I'm overcoming it. People can overcome their weight. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but those statistics are completely meaningless.

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