For real though one time in math class I had to fart, one of those farts that'd been building up all morning, anyways it was fucking hurting my stomach and I knew it was going to be a big one. This air biscuit had to go.

Well you know how you can usually tell if a farts going to smell or not by how it feels when it comes out your asshole? If it's coolish air you know you're good, if it's warm it's a toss up, and if it melts your sphincter you better vacate the area. Yeah, so I had this bright idea that I'd test this fart out to make sure I wasn't about to bomb the whole classroom.

Remember those plastic chairs with the perminantly bolted on desks that you had to squeeze into? Oh, did I mention I was at the front of the classroom by the way? Well I figured if I lifted one buttcheek up I could test this thing out quietly, sniff the air and see if I had the green light to unleash this poop gopher.

So here I am, front of the class, trying not to make it obvious that I'm lifting up my asscheek to the whole class behind me, I sort of shift to one side and give a little push. What was supposed to just be a test turned into a complete back end blowout. I guess I lifted my asscheek just high enough that what was supposed to be a fluff turned it into thunder from down under.

It started off as a few pops, like those weak firecrackers you start the Fourth of July off with, but after I had opened the doors there was no stopping it. It came out furiously, each second growing in decibels amplified by the chair beneath me. It was so loud I cut the teacher off from speaking and we locked eyes.

After it was over the teacher said "Thanks for that RiseAboveRuin, do you have anything else for us?" And the entire classroom went into an uproar.

TL;DR: Had to fart real bad in math class one time, lifted up a buttcheek to test a fart out and it betrayed me. Most embarrassing moment of my life.