I don’t know how I came across this but I’m glad I did. YES. I feel this way very often. Even sometimes about things I think I may have done, but don’t remember or have proof that I’ve come. For me I only have these feelings of regret for my past lack of self control, when it comes to my abuser. Anything dealing with my abuser makes me act irrationally, and I don’t seem to even see it till months later... you were abused. This is a normal feeling for someone who has been through trauma. She doesn’t understand yet, and it really sucks when everyone around you doesn’t see/believe the shit you went through to make you do it, in the first place. You weren’t wrong to do it, you aren’t crazy, and you don’t look stupid. But for YOUR mental sanity, I’d stay away from contacting him or anyone regarding him. They’ll find out on their own.