A lot of social learning comes from experience. If you don't have that inclination to connect with others and be social, then you either have to accept that, or take measures to push yourself into experiencing interaction. I have two pieces of advice, feel free to employ both, either, or none of them, whatever feels right to you.
Focus your attention on the speaker and what they are saying, rather than yourself. Get out of your head. Do this by focusing on the other person. And give yourself a break. Its ok if you come off as shy or a little awkward. Allow yourself room to be imperfect, and know that others are not as judgmental as your brain probably tells you they are. And just keep throwing yourself in these situations until it gets more natural, which it will.
Employ an "alternate persona." I know it sounds a little crazy, but really, every person has various personas, especially social people, which are usually developed unconsciously over the course of their lives. They switch between masks and ways of being to adapt to the right social setting. They know, on some level, that social interactions are an energy exchange, and one size does not fit all in terms of how they express themselves and interact. You, however, simply have not developed these personas (or at least not the ones you want, which are able to socialize) so I think it makes sense to suggest that perhaps you consider putting on your "actor" hat and just employing some very minor, basic changes to your persona to be more focused, alert, and engaged. Just a thought -- only do it if this advice resonates with you.