I have been heading straight into the same wall you just hit, and I know what's coming, what I should do, should have done long ago. But as you said, I love her. I hate her mental illness and what it does to her, but I love her. I have always went beyond anything understandably acceptable, to be there for her, and to always separate her , and what her illness makes her do, or say sometimes. I don't blame her, I would like to see her try harder, success more at gaining control, but I can't blame her for losing battle vs herself. Then again, being there always means when she lets herself get carried away in a delusion, when she feels like escaping the only way she can pretend everything is normal, with people that don't know her at all or barely, and when reality crashes Rhodes escapes, when she's beat down at the lowest she gets sometimes, every time she endured so much shit she can't escape because her mind is creating it, I'm there. So I'm slowly getting associated with all that darkness, becoming an obstacle, an enemy.... And I don't think I can do anything to prevent the inevitable. I are strong to be able to put a stop to it. And get out. I don't seem to be strong enough, or maybe I still have to take a bit more pain to get over the limit and just bail out....maybe shes the one that's gonna push me away someday, soon probably. Anyway, what are you gonna do, heh? Mental health is a blessing most people don't realise the are fortunate to have, when you are cursed with mental illness, it will destroy every one it gets near to.