What do I take from this... hmmm...

It's hard for an outsider like me with over ten years of life experience on you to have anything positive to say about this. My gut says that it's far too little, far too late.

And yeah, while he seems to have actually had what might constitute a Wake Up Call... the odds of him making lasting changes with enough fervor and consistency that you can come out of the cold, dark place you've exited into are slim-to-none.

I know how love gets killed. The love in my past relationships has been killed in many ways. Once it's gone for one partner, it never really returns. Not without a whole lot of action and a bunch of glue holding you together in the way of marriage vows or kids or many years spent together prior to the loss, anyway.

All that's holding you two together is a piece of land and a bunch of fantasies. That's not much glue.

It's a devastating situation, but I have to say that the way you've conveyed your side of the story indicates a very acute level of emotional intelligence.

Ultimately, I think you know, deep deep down, that this thing is dead for you. You're just battling guilt and self-doubt right now because he's made a last-minute turnaround when he realized you were serious. And what did it take for him to realize that? You leaving him and staying gone.

Nobody that dense or careless is worth going through the long and arduous process of rebuilding a relationship this fucked up. Nobody. You're so young, you're so smart, and you're so with-it. You don't deserve the misery you've already been through, and you certainly haven't earned the emotional ass-kicking that trying to put this back together is going to give you.

I think you should stick with your gut and keep on the path you've already started down. It'll be better and brighter and someday you'll meet a guy who isn't a complete emotional retard, and you'll look back on this and thank yourself for going through with a difficult, life-altering decision like leaving this dude. You will.