Ugh. I relate to this hard. When my dad and I finally talked (after 5 years of silence because he responded in the same way), he made some dickish comment that blamed me and I was able to let go and walk away. It was confirmation that I didn’t make it all up. He didn’t stand up for me. I wasn’t the problem. I was a CHILD. I was looking to the adults in my life to keep me safe and make me feel loved—both of them were incapable. That was never my fault.

My sister said something to me recently that really changed my perspective as well: you can’t expect someone to apologize for doing what they thought was right (even when they’re so, soooo wrong). This in no way absolves either of responsibility, just prevents me from expecting them to suddenly be honest with themselves and the world.

This is a tough journey and I am sending endless support and love while you conquer it.