If you loan the money, how does that benefit your daughter? She doesn’t need money loaned to her. So if SS needs 10k LOANED, And your daughter doesn’t, how is that equal? The assumption is SS will pay it back, what if he doesn’t? And SS has THREE parents contributing money to him while your daughter only has TWO. Where’s the equity there? And the only reason this became an issue is b/c your husband didn’t save as much. Sure there’s transparency but again, that wasn’t an issue until your husband wanted you to give HALF of your daughter’s money to his son. Let’s not act like that never happened. You saved for your daughter and should be done contributing money for college, you’re the person being bent over here. Everyone can see the red flags but you. Or you do see them and choose to pretend to be blind, because you seem like an highly intelligent woman, and you’re choosing to gamble to hold onto this man. Good luck with that.