If someone went behind my back and contacted my family, who I am NOT close with...

Ok, but we don't know anything about his relationship with his family. Just because you have a bad relationship with your family doesn't mean he does too. For all you know he gets along great with his family and having them contact him would be just what he needs to get some help.

I think OP should consider contacting his family only if they have a good relationship. Obviously. If they don't get along then she should not. But if they are close, then they could be very helpful in being another person/people who could talk to him about how he's feeling and if he needs some help.

Everyone is not like you, Tigerfirejump666, therapy works for many people, often in situations where they can't talk to the people close to them. Talking to a stranger can be very helpful in those situations because you have nothing to lose, the stranger means nothing to you so you don't worry about them judging you or thinking bad things about you, they are just an impartial third party who can help you work through a problem.

Maybe therapy won't help this guy either though, maybe he IS like you. The point is we don't know and we should offer OP all the options that might possibly help so she can do everything she can to get this guy some help before the only she can do is walk away. Because this situation is a little like the story of the guy who was dating the girl who was raped and then for like a year her family wouldn't let him see her except once a week or whatever. I know it's not that bad yet, but the fact that he won't talk about it, but still has some pretty bad effects from it means it could go that way. He could be forever changed from this experience and it could drive a wedge between them because he can't discuss it with her. So we should give her all the tools we can think of to help with that and try to avoid the last thing she can do, which is walk away.