It makes you feel selfish for wanting him to change.

I don't feel selfish at all, because I never ask him to change for me. All the things he's having issues with he's expressed me to help him the first time this all started happening. He knows I care about him, and when I saw his "shell" of personality and first broke into him emotionally he admitted had been acted this way.

However, he's taken full advantage of me. When he came to me about eating healthier/working out I told him I would be happy to help him, then he completely took advantage of me, wasted my time, our money, and energy. During the following "blow up" he said he knew I was frustrated and I had every right to be.

He 100% understands that me having some self-respect is just and love this quality in me because I don't let people (my family) take advantage of me.

My marriage is different though -- I'm going to keep trying and keep working on it till I feel like I can't give any more or it is beginning to effect me. It's starting to effect me, it's making me depressed because I feel like I have no option but out. It's not that I'm selfish, I simply have self-worth. If he wanted help, I'd be happy to do so, but I won't be walked all over either.

Know that there are a lot of people out there who will support you and help you in any way that they can.

Sadly, there isn't anyone. I don't have a very small family barely getting by financially and I have no friends at all. The only person I 'have' is my mom and she's a hoarder, she just lost her job and is on food stamps, public assistance at the moment and is in the middle of a 1 month marriage, now divorced that was just some guy trying what money she had left. My grandmother died a few years ago and my mom blew $60,000 in less than a two years. I'm literally in the process of getting a few dogs she has removed from the home because she neglects them and they're covered in sores. My marriage is nothing compared to the nightmare my family lives in. I'd rather be room mates with my spouse. Lol.