I've been having a hard time dealing mentally with my breakthrough COVID case. I worried so much all of 2020, got both vaccines in April, quit drinking May 24. Started working out and lost 30 pounds. Felt so balanced. Then I take a work trip and contract this BS. Had a fever and soreness, headaches and runny nose. OK. Then lost sense of smell which is slowly coming back.

Then there's the sh*t that I don't know what to attribute the cause...depression, anxiety, crazy massive food cravings. No I haven't drank and I haven't felt the urge. My urges are all food related now and they are strong. I can't seem to focus my thoughts. Yesterday I acknowledged to my husband that when I was drinking I would have turned to alcohol to throw in the towel for a day or two. But that isn't what I want. I want dessert. A lot of dessert. And then I feel guilty.

Should I just let myself put on 10 pounds until I can pull myself out of this trench I've fallen into? I'm going to look into therapy but the ones I've found seem to focus on I tuition eating rather than tracking and I don't think I can trust myself with that yet.

Thanks for letting me vent. Love yall.

IWNDWYT.