Honestly I was just in need of a good, so to say, release of the mind. I was up pretty darn late and my words were lost to a jumbled mess of complaints I have that trouble me from time to time. I did delete what I wrote because I believe it doesn't matter. I didn't write all the details of my boyfriend and I. That would have taken much of my night. And I probably couldn't put the words together very well either way. To clear up some things though. Jealousy truly isn't the right word to describe my feelings. You wouldn't know of this because it's a detail I left out, but I come from a troubled family. I was always lied to in one form or another. So in a way to me, him not telling me was like a lie. I know and understand we were broken up at the time when he was with another woman. And obviously no one is or can be forced to stay with just one partner. He told me he didn't tell me because he knew I would leave him. And I probably would have at the time. I was around a disgusting whoremonger that I grew up with. So I actually do believe being intimate is sacred. My boyfriend didn't cheat on me, but I still feel a twinge of betrayal. I can't force myself not to be hurt just because of any logic reasons or "rules of a relationship". I understand he didn't do anything wrong, I just felt the hurt feelings I'm sure any other may feel at that age. Our love is quite different, or maybe the same as all other long distance relationships. But our communication with one another is perfectly fine now. My gift to him (which was just food by the way) was because I knew he was feeling bad and I knew this argument has been resolved already. We just needed to have another talk about it again because of the new added detail. Maybe in a way you are right and I am all the things you said. But if we knew each other deeply, and I came to you with full details of everything, could you really compare my experience with your own?