Is it weird that I can be charismatic enough to sleep with girls on tinder, but in a group setting I'm shy af

seem to want to wallow in self pity

Your perception of another person's struggles is very limited though, especially if it's just based on someone's comment here or there.

Some people simply are out of their comfort zone all the time, I think we all know that it's not as simple as doing that a few times and then it's all fixed. In many cases, there are multiple factors involved in the avoidance pattern, not just unwillingness to expose ourselves to scary situations. In my case, I have forced myself into scary situations many times, even when it was clearly traumatizing for me, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to complete my degree or find work.

When you've been in a shitty situation for a long time, it's hard not to become bitter about it, and being accused of wallowing in self pity or not really trying or whatever is just the right icing on the depression cake.

/r/AvPD Thread Parent