I saw you posted this on ask women too (but it was removed) so I’m going to answer here, I hope nobody minds.

For us, we spend the majority of our time at home together (we have kids). Friday night drinks with friends is something we both encourage for each other, as well as work/hobby Christmas party events. But we don’t “go hard” and are generally home by midnight. Once every couple of months or so we’ll have a bigger event like a bucks party or something and I’ll always encourage him to go, and those tend to be bigger and crazier nights). Other “party events” are for both of us (weddings, ufc nights etc) so we’ll be together.

For us the “partying” is much more about socialising than about actually drinking/taking drugs/blowing off steam, and so we go to maintain our friendships, not to get wasted, and we’re both always happy to get back to our bubble afterwards.

If either one of us was using it as an escape from our life that would be a red flag that something deeper was going on.